So you want to have a threesome! What you need to know.

by Eva Sless - 10 January 2016 - 52 Member Comments
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When it comes to enhancing your sex life one of the most fun things to do is add another body or two into the mix, but it can also be one of the most confusing and sometimes risky ventures you will take. There are so many things to think about. So many different dynamics. Not only physical, like where do all the legs go and why is there always an elbow digging in somewhere, but emotional too. Things like will jealousy become a factor? What if I don't like it or change my mind halfway through? What if my partner decides they like our playmate more than me? 

Sometimes it can be such a minefield of what ifs and doubts it can turn you off trying it out at all, just in case it all goes wrong.

If you're in a relationship the most important thing to do when you're thinking about inviting another person into your bed is to talk to your partner about it first. And when I say talk I mean really talk. Just saying you want one isn't enough, and your partner agreeing with you is also not enough. I mean, sure, that's the first step, knowing you both want to do it, but it's not the only thing you need to consider. Here are a few basic points and questions that are very important in the decision making process and will help you to see if you're ready to do it and, more importantly, to make sure you're both on the same page as to what you want, how you want it and what you'll get out of it.

Firstly you should probably work out what gender you want the extra person to be. It might sound like a silly thing but if you're all pumped for a threesome with two guys and your boyfriend thinks you mean two girls, well let's just say things could get awkward.

Secondly you should talk about what it is you both want to get out of it. “Lots of orgasms” is an okay answer (I mean isn't that why we all have sex anyway?), but not really what I'm talking about. What I mean is asking questions about what you want and expect to happen.

Things like:

  • Is it about watching your partner be with someone else?
  • Is it about having your partner watch you?
  • Is it about exploring a same sex experience for you, or your partner? 
  • Are there any things you don't want to do?
  • Are there things you don't want your partner to do?

Knowing your personal and relationship boundaries is really important. The good thing about it is they can be open to change and evolution, but they are definitely needed. The last thing you want, when knee-deep in threesomey goodness, is to see your partner doing something you really don't want them to do. It could be as simple as them kissing the other person, but if it's something that makes you uncomfortable and gets that green-eyed monster out then it's most likely going to ruin the experience for everyone involved. Also talking to your future playmates about these sorts of things is a good idea. They too will have boundaries and expectations and questions, and the more open you are with them and the more discussion you have about what you all want and expect the better the whole thing will be.

But (I hear you saying) what if you think you're going to be okay with certain things and then you find out that really you're not. Is it okay to change your mind halfway through?

Yes it is, because sex should always be enjoyable and consensual and if you're finding that it isn't then you have every right to stop. Of course, saying something like “I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable can we stop for a while” is always a better idea than screaming “You bastard how DARE you do that” and running out of the room. Trust me. I've been in both situations and the former is always a way better way to deal with it.

But (I hear you saying again) what if I'm single? Do the rules change? 

To be honest, no, not really. You still need to know what you want and what your boundaries are. You still need to be aware of the limitations your playmates might have and you need to be open and honest when discussing it with them. But you should also be aware that if things do get funny when you're with a couple, like someone starts to get jealous or feels left out, you might bear the brunt of someone's reaction to it. Again, I have been in that situation and it's not fun.

So once you've decided that you want to, and have agreed on your boundaries and expectations, the next step is finding someone to play with, and that's not as easy as you might think it is. Here are a couple of suggestions to get you started.

Playing with Friends

There are pros and cons in this. The pros being that you know and like these people. They are a part of your world and your circle and, if it all works out, could be a whole new beginning to Saturday afternoon BBQs. The cons are pretty much the same as the pros. You know and like these people, they are part of your world and your circle... And so, if things go wrong, it could totally change your friendships and make what were once fun and friendly Saturday afternoon BBQs a thing of the past.

Meeting Online

The pros are it's essentially a virtual pick and mix buffet where you can search for the perfect playmate. Someone who is exactly what you are looking for and who can help fulfil your desires. The cons are that often people online are not what they claim and it can turn into a long process to sort through the crap to actually find that diamond in the rough.

Going to a Party or Event

This is the actual pick and mix smorgasbord all you can eat buffet. Surrounded by people looking for pretty much the same thing you are. Bit of eye contact, a nod, and off you go! Well, it's not as simple as that... But it can be close. The cons come when the people you want to play with aren't interested in you, and the ones who are, just aren't your cup of tea. But the good thing is, there are parties and events almost every weekend, so you can always try again next time.

So what are you waiting for? Sit down and start the conversation tonight! You'll open up new doors, new excitement and put a whole lot more fun into your life... And when you think about it, that's what life is all about right?

52 Member Comments

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  1. timwithbigcock

    12 hours ago
    still wondering how the threesome experience would be....don't know from where to start
  2. luvmumma

    More than a month ago
    i have never had one but am very interested in trying a MMF as I'm inexperienced I would like the males to be experienced and not bi it would be one of my fantasies for filled
  3. Pureoneclassic

    More than a month ago
    I have had the pleasure of experiencing a MFM. With the right couple the whole night and day is such a turn on!! Guys if you are a little homophobic there really is not much point. The sexy woman is the centre of attention...
  4. Merlinsboss

    More than a month ago
    Does anyone have some advice for a single male who is curious about being involved in an mfm scenario. I feel drawn simply by the social nature of such an experience although I am not bi. I have nearly met up with couples a number of times but I end up getting really anxious about the expectations. If this sounds really silly then I put my hand up. I'm silly.
  5. Fellator2145

    More than a month ago
    I would love a MFM 3some where I can give oral to both.
  6. Asa.Is.Back

    More than a month ago
    I must say, that I've experienced a number of threesomes (mostly mfm), but by far the best is the type where you build up a strong friendship first...through regular chatting (text, kik, etc) & flirting. That's what happened to me with the couple from my stories, & the connection made the sex so much better.
    I agree that boundaries need to be discussed fully beforehand, by all involved. But also it's important to reassess boundaries from time to time if you plan or hope to continue the threesome as FWB. Sometimes, jealousy occurs later, or rules change as you all evolve.
    The most important thing though is to make sure that if it's to be a threesome where all play, everyone is involved. Even if it means reigning in your own "fun" a bit to MAKE SURE the other person is included too.
  7. SassnCheek

    More than a month ago
    Very very difficult to find an interested woman who doesn't flake on meetings, especially if you don't seem to live in the Syd/Melb/Bris areas and therefore have an extremely small pool of available people.
  8. Zzzeus.

    More than a month ago
    yes hmmm, think i have to update my profile, ide really love one, or is that two lols ?
  9. qick-e

    More than a month ago
    i have had a couple of MFF encounters found it interesting and fun , have had one with a married couple where i was the extra guy lol still fun
  10. SassySandy

    More than a month ago
    ALWAYS ONLY had 2 males and myself....the absolute best way as no conflict with other woman in the picture as I've heard from others......rather enjoy than have cat fights hehe

    blondiejulz

    More than a month ago
    hi,
    saw yr pics just lik to say good on u for feelin young again.
  11. Bi50yo

    More than a month ago
    Very good I have had a few mmf 3 sums and found them ok to disappointing. A lot of men want and are exited by it. But most can only mange a half must pole and can not preform. Clubs are better than on line contacts we have always found.
  12. Pixxie1966

    More than a month ago
    Well we are interested in a FFm 3some, but i cant believe women don't seem to want to wink us....... Maybe this site isn't as fair dinkum as we thought it to be. She has done it once and i want to .........
  13. dick1313

    More than a month ago
    Many Thanks Eva for the valuable information. I have been to threesomes, foursomes and manysomes groups and I find not parties are the same. Nevertheless, it's a fulfilling experience to see majority of the girls, guys and couples in their beautiful natural attire experiencing the ultimate sexual bliss. Cheers
  14. Asa.Is.Back

    More than a month ago
    I have had a number of very successful threesomes. But by far the best one has been written about in a story I submitted today....
  15. accentlover

    More than a month ago
    My wife and I recently tried mfm. Found it exciting,the young man 15 yrs younger than us was respectful but seemed like he had ants in his pants,I mean jumping around everywhere and seemed like a bit of a pussy hog.We had an ok time and will try again with guy who is maybe a little older.
  16. leavinglasvegas

    More than a month ago
    I have found it very hard to find a couple to join..perhaps because i am single, perhaps because i am in my 50's, perhaps because i have not done it before, probably a combination of all three things. I know that the full potential of my sexuality lies in that direction. Thanks for this article, it gives me renewed hope :)
  17. sk1nnyk1d

    More than a month ago
    I would say that what you have explained here is a very interesting read. My husband and I tried with a friend and I didn't like the experience. She ran the show but gave nothing back in return it was all about her. I stopped and walked off, my husband and her carried on but I was really pissed at the both of them especially my husband, he knew when I walked off that I was angry and he should have stopped. A few days later my girlfriend and I talked about it and I told her how I felt, she too knew I wasn't happy and it seemed like she was passing all the blame on my husband. I felt she wasn't being honest and was saying what she thought I wanted to hear. But in the end we made a deal it would never ever happen again for which it hasn't since, funny thing though my husband still wants another try at it but I won't let it and she neither he has been very persistent about it and thinks that if I talk to her and make her change her mind that things will be better. I'm sticking to my guns and won't let it mainly because we are great friends now and don't want our friendship to part. When we chat together sex always comes up and we tell each other what we fantasize about and watch the occasional porn videos and no we haven't been with each other, just close friends who actually now like talking about sex.

    Sweetangelic3

    More than a month ago
    I have played with couples I have met on here throughout the years and have always had a great time.. generally finding out what limits they have first up so I don't rock their relationships... I have had where people would rather the male not to have intercourse with the extra or not kissing (fmf) or (mfm) where there is full contact or no mm contact.. it's about being honest.. Some women may like to have a lady play/go down on her but may not be a giver... still yet to try a swingers party but hey, one day time will permit
  18. funready2

    More than a month ago
    Sadly not many are interested in older people.

    nath303

    More than a month ago
    I'm interested. I love experienced women

    LadyDragon

    More than a month ago
    I certainly haven't found that! Have had offers from 28yo upwards... been with 40yo to 69yo and really enjoyed most. Orgies, 3sum, couples mostly younger. It's all in the attitude - "play" is the appeal - MUST be fun!!!
  19. Callan1988

    More than a month ago
    Yeah just go with flow & no like u love her but u & your have be tight with love and if their open 2 that stuff if you no what I mean (:
  20. Lothbrook

    More than a month ago
    Thank you that's a great insight for us and hope to use hints and get our man or women to join us
  21. Mussypair

    More than a month ago
    firstly you must have a strong relationship with your partner. secondly not jealousy issues and that's both ways. we have had mfm on a number of occasions, i find great pleasure seeing the wife having multiple orgasms, lets face it guys girl keep going. it brings a smile to my face knowing shes having pleasure. and shes on with me having mf fun. but communication is a must
  22. Spicierblack

    More than a month ago
    I've had MMF and still its better than 1 on 1 and look forward for MFF in near future
  23. rboy01

    More than a month ago
    I've had a fair few 3some mfm, fmf and even moresome and loved every minute of them. Some can even last all night.
    So just take your time and make sure everyone is having fun.
  24. GenGuy73

    More than a month ago
    Have experienced many threesomes in the form of mmf, but not ffm yet....still trying :D

    Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    I've had FFM (and FFF) but never a truly successful MMF. Would love to have one to fulfill a certain long-standing fantasy
  25. Darkstud

    More than a month ago
    I'm new to a threesome experience. Would love to try and see what the fun is all about? Just don't know where to start.
  26. hotarse77

    More than a month ago
    So where do we sign up its so har
    d to find our 1st .

    WizardofAus01

    More than a month ago
    I'm having a MFF tomorrow - both are bi-curious
  27. Iween1

    More than a month ago
    I've helped a few ppl fulfill 3sum fantasies now. Ppl that may have never got around to it. It really is a pleasure seeing the reactions of a male being turned on and played with by two fems for the first time. It is a different experience to one in one. No doubt there. I like sensual play with couples my own age best - as in touching and feeling the others' bodies. But when the MILF wants to come out of me, I like to hold a young cock in each hand and indulge. What a pleasurable sexual journey I am on.
  28. HedonisticX2

    More than a month ago
    One reason you did not mention is that my male partner, (MIke) is insaitable. I feel so bad when I am all done in, exhausted and all climaxed out after a couple of intense hours and he still has so much to give. I don't want him to miss out on feeling what I feel. I want him to feel as sated at the end of a love-making session as I am and getting a lovely young lady in to help me do that is an ideal situation for us. The lady and I can 'share the load' so to speak and everyone comes away happy and content. Carmen xx

    GenGuy73

    More than a month ago
    Why does she need to be young? If you're serious about it, perhaps look older - broaden your search....good luck :)
  29. Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Had several MFF threesomes - very enjoyable. Still hoping for a successful MMF - the ones I've had have been spoiled by the guys being freaked out my accidental male to male contact (which, let's face it, is bound to happen)

    blueangela

    More than a month ago
    Totally agree, that has happened with me as well, thanks.

    nonenonezilch

    More than a month ago
    hehehe lol. Men are funny...straight women are expected to enjoy same sex play yet so many guys find the idea of "accidental touch" horrifying...who cares (it probably feel's nice too)

    MrsMichael

    More than a month ago
    Of course M/M contact will occur ,we ask "do you have issues with M/M contact most come straight out and say no, do you mind if I suck your cock. I say only if I can suck yours, Anne says I want to watch. Have had wonderful nights

    littleshy58

    More than a month ago
    we have had many mmf 3sums and had no problems

    1easygoin1

    More than a month ago
    MMf threesomes are great fun if all are on the same page regarding MM contact. Its all good fun. I have had the pleasure of enjoying many threesome variations and look forward to more :)

    keen4cplsplay

    More than a month ago
    MMF threesums are hot when you don`t have to worry about where a hand or mouth goes. What ever feels good right! We have had and also i been invited into a few bi mmf threesums,,, The girls love it as well!! Blows your mind!!! WOW!!!!
  30. littleshy58

    More than a month ago
    yes we love mmf 3 sums wife loves having 2 cocks to play with she loves the hot young guys the best
  31. SassySandy

    More than a month ago
    OOOOOOO YES!!! MMF!! 2 hot cocks, been doing it for MANY years and LOVE it!!!!!

    littleshy58

    More than a month ago
    we are the same best ever 2 hot young cocks love it when they cum all over me
  32. abcplus1

    More than a month ago
    The sorting to find the diamond certainly rings true. But when you do it is a wonderful experience.

    We have also been fortunate enough to end up with new (platonic) Saturday BBQ friends as a result of the friendships formed.
  33. Infamous.X

    More than a month ago
    Personally, I'm a threesome specialist! I really enjoy a couple being satisfied, in whatever way we choose to play. It helps if you like being watched too. ;)

    AMM.Editor

    More than a month ago
    Job interview, "So what are your strengths?". "Well, I'm a threesome specialist" Love it!

    Melody2973

    More than a month ago
    Too funny :))))))

    NSAFUNTIME69

    More than a month ago
    I had several of those here and overseas and I found them enjoyable.
  34. 2sexymen4u

    More than a month ago
    We really enjoy a threesome experience with a hot sexy lady MMF fun & in particular a first timer! Always very exciting for all!

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