If you've been lucky enough that you've grown to expect compulsory oral, it can be pretty baffling when your new playmate won't take the hint.
It’s worth keeping in mind that not all men are twat hungry all the time, despite what pornography might have you believe. But before we get any further, it's probably good to just get one thing out of the way: It's probably him, not you!
But if you crave that tongue treatment and he is reluctant to go down on you, here are some tips.
Speak up! Honest, straight-forward communication should always be at the top of your list of go-to tactics. It's true that some of you may be reading this because you've already tried - unsuccessfully - to talk about it. However, if you've yet to mention how parched your pussy is feeling, it's very likely your playmate has no idea you're feeling neglected. Guys are not mind-readers - especially when they’re preoccupied with their own raging boners.
Pamper your nether regions. A woman’s vagina is her territory, so you definitely shouldn’t let your boyfriend’s preferences dictate how you primp and pamper your pussy. Still, if you want him to spend lots of face time between your legs, you’ll need to consider what might be turn ons and turn offs to him. This may mean compromising - if he isn’t a fan of pubic hair but you are, perhaps some trimming (rather than full-on shaving) is in order. Talk to him about what turns him on most about the female anatomy, and once he starts to open up, you might get some hints on what you can do to make your pussy as appetising as possible. Our blog article about the waxing and waning of pubic hair trends received a lot of member comments but the opinion was divided so it is an individual preference.
Use positive reinforcement. Some men have spent a lot of time buried in muff, but it's entirely likely that your man is hesitant to go downtown because he's inexperienced, or nervous he'll suck at it (pun intended). Use words of encouragement to show him when he's on the money, or offer a gentle push: "I'd go crazy for a little bit of tongue right about now," could be the hint he needs.
Show (and maybe tell a little). If the issue is that your man is going down on you occasionally, but not enough to satisfy you, then you may be dealing with a different problem. Every woman is different, so maybe what worked on his ex isn't doing it for you as much. Men are often highly attuned to how you're reacting, so if this is the case, he may have gotten discouraged after receiving a lukewarm response from you. Everyone's always talking about how you should ask for what you want, but sometimes words feel inadequate for the task, or it can feel like a bit of a buzzkill to speak up in the middle of the act. If there's a certain kind of pressure you like, demonstrate it with your fingers first. If he’s paying attention, he’ll get the hint.
Consider staging your own boycott. Of course, if you love sucking dick for sucking dick's sake, by all means, keep it up. But if all give and no receive is leaving you frustrated, remember that you're under no obligation to keep doing something that’s not being reciprocated. Bear in mind, this should be a last-ditch tactic - talking to him first is essential, or else he may not understand why he’s suddenly feeling dry.
One more caveat: You really shouldn't have to resort to mind games in order to get your partner to reciprocate. On the other hand, no one should feel pressured to do anything they're not comfortable with in bed. Maybe pussy-eating just isn't up your man's alley, but if that's the case, he should be seeking alternative routes to help you get off. If not, you might just have a selfish chump on your hands.
If you enjoyed this article then you might enjoy reading How to help her love blow jobs as much as you do!