4 Important Rules for You & Your F*ckbuddy

by Adult Match Maker - 07 May 2015 - 9 Member Comments
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Man, is it ever complicated, being a person with needs and desires in the 21st century. Sometimes there's no better-sounding arrangement than having an exotic upstairs neighbour you can dial up at three in the morning for a good time. Other times, you wish "no strings" came with, at minimum, a side of espresso and eggs in the morning, prepared dotingly for you by your sidepiece in his underoos.

To be clear, fuckbuddies are great. Fuckbuddies are not an afterthought - they're our friends (sort of), our frisky companions, and our partners in letting off steam. Fuckbuddies make the world go round. But they're not our boyfriends or girlfriends, tempting as it may be to begin treating them as such.

So how do you draw - and maintain - the appropriate boundaries?

1. Don't expect your sexy friend to be at your beck and call

Not that your significant other should be either, but this is one crucial area of distinction between relationships and "Relationships". You and your fuckbuddy have made no serious commitment to being in each other's lives, so there's usually no unwritten rule that you should be seeing each other twice a week.

Of course, keeping things casual has plenty of upsides. But it's not exactly unheard of for one person to begin craving a disproportionate amount of the other person's company. If you've both decided that "no strings" is where it's at, make sure you're okay with the possibility of a 3 week radio silence first.

2. Be on your way by 11 am

This rule is hardly hard and fast, but as a general best practise, don't hang around all day. Assuming you're even at the point where you're spending the night - some people do prefer sleeping alone - you should assume your fuckbuddy has things to do in the morning.

When you're in a relationship, you can grocery shop, help out with assignments, and plant itty bitty flowers together - as well as get a side dish of all the related spats that come with the territory.

None of this is to say you can't enjoy a brunch outing or a day at the amusement park like a normal couple - just make sure you're not stepping on each other's toes.

3. Bring health to the table

Sexual health is a crucial topic for partners of any kind, but it's especially important to discuss these matters frankly when you're engaged in a non-monogamous relationship.

Talk openly with each other about how frequently you get tested, what sorts of positives you've had in the past (if any), and what your habits are like outside of your "friends with benefits" relationship.

Health, of course, is more than just physical. Your emotional and mental health can count as part of the discussion. What are your boundaries? What should your partner do to make you feel safe and respected?

4. Keep communication open

It seems par for the course that if you don't have "The Talk", you should probably assume you're both seeing other people.

But why assume things or leave things unspoken?

If transparency and healthy boundaries are what you're after, you should both be completely forthcoming about where you stand and establish a dynamic where you can feel comfortable coming forward with your thoughts.

A good fuck buddy can be a beautiful thing, but to be truly successful, you need communication, understanding, and some ground rules. 

Have you had a positive experience with a fuck buddy? What rules do you have in place? 

9 Member Comments

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  1. downundermumma

    More than a month ago
    I highly recommend having a fuck buddy I met my fuck buddy over 6 years ago and we still get together. Albeit not as much as we used to as I moved but despite that we still see each other from time to time. Its great if you don't want the angst of a relationship but still want a healthy sex life. It might not work for everyone but it works for me.
  2. Easy2Adore

    More than a month ago
    Basic rules of F-buddy's is that you are not and never will be their number 1 and vice versa. See each other when mutually agreeable/possibly and communicate openly about any issues that may get in the way.
    A F-buddy should be an welcome addition to your life not the main event.
  3. JAKZBAK

    More than a month ago
    I agree with most of the above. There are no hard n fast rules, everyone is different. The only rule is that u agree what u want. A Fuck Buddy, can be a great friend, should be a great friend. As opposed to a random! Personally I don't like rando's, and I do like to have more than one Fuck buddy. Of course, what is good for the goose, has to be good for the gander ;) Monogamy is tedious and restrictive, I like to be creative and experimental. It is not a matter of a harem, its a matter of fun, adult fun. Long as it is open and honest, can't see an issue. Play nice folks, its worth it :)
  4. Herdarkdesire

    More than a month ago
    One of my rules are 1. No sleepovers and long bouts of cuddling

    Penny.Trator

    More than a month ago
    Agreed :)
  5. fxstio6

    More than a month ago
    1st rule is that nothing is set in concrete, 2 nd keep it fun ....we have a great time lm single, she married ... its great highly recommend it a great experience that continues as long as you both want ...
  6. peterpan76

    More than a month ago
    It's a beautiful style of relationship, especially when there is open communication and a similarity of goals. My experience has been that the "life cycle" tends to be months, rather than years, as one party's "needs or wants" changing can alter the dynamic. There will be many more of the types of relationships going forward.
  7. Nattyisback69

    More than a month ago
    Sometimes fuck buddies turn into relationships that go back to fuck buddies . ??
    However ive had both & communication is best .

    main rule fuck buddies shouldnt start leaving clothes etc . 11 am is goodbye time also ??

  8. Newtothisss

    More than a month ago
    Never had a fuck buddy as of yet but sounds like good fun and wouldn't mind trying it

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