7 Essentials for your Beginner's BDSM Toolbox

Mr. Grey eat your heart out! We are going to get your dungeon started and set you on a path that will make what you saw in 50 Shades pale in comparison.

With THAT movie well behind us, and with Adult Match Maker’s very own survey of over 7,600 people showing that 60% of Aussies revealed that they like a bit of kink in the bedroom - it’s time to take that next step - that’s right everyone - time to go shopping.

So here is my list of the top 7 BDSM toolbox essentials to get your spank and tickle on at home.

Blindfolds

A great start to any kind of sensation play blindfolds are not merely a way to block off one sense - but a gateway to opening all the others up. Adding a blindfold will automatically enhance any further step you take when playing with your other senses - this item is an absolute must. From a sensual piece of silk to whatever you have handy at home (the humble necktie is a great substitute here) this is one of the easier items to source. You can read more about sensation play in my article Turn your Naughty up a Notch in the Bedroom

Rope & Other Restraints

What better way to hand over control - or take it away than to restrain your partner. Whether it’s just the hands - tied together or to the bed, or something a little more advanced, your most versatile tool here is the humble length of rope. Unlike handcuffs or other custom designed restraints rope can be used on more parts of the body as well as other inanimate objects - not to mention that the act of tying someone can be very sensual. Ropes come in all sizes and materials - from silk and hemp that can be found at your favourite sex store or even synthetic variations from your local hardware supplier. Always ensure that whenever you are playing with rope that you have a rope cutter within reach ( I use a parrot knife for a fast, safe release) - and never leave a restrained partner unattended.

Impact Instruments

I could have listed these all separately but there are just so many options! My favourite impact instrument is my bare hand - again - it’s the most sensual and offers you the most control over your spank. Once you have mastered the bare handed spank though you have a number of options you can explore - paddles are wonderful for when you don’t want to leave too much bruising, floggers are also very sensual and can be used in a variety of ways - then there are crops and whips which also have their own unique qualities as far as different sensations, sounds and marks on the skin go - have a play and work out what your favourites are.

Feathers & Sensation Toys

Make the most of your bound and blindfolded partner by bringing in some gorgeous sensation toys! Take advantage of the control you now have with a feather tickler to their neck and torso, some finger claws to their back and inner thighs. Run a Wartenberg (or pin wheel) lightly along some of their most sensitive parts - and of course for those who like things a little more intense - nipple clamps. Trust me - once you get over the initial intensity of these babies the release that these things can give you can be very rewarding.

Gags

Bondage gags are used for many reasons. Some use gags to keep noisy partners quiet, and sometimes its more for control or humiliation. Most important to note here is that when using a gag your partner will not be able to communicate their safe word to you – so another form of communication will have to be negotiated – for example clicking the fingers or giving them a bell to ring. The most common kind of gag is the ball gag – and for beginners, it’s best to take things slow and perhaps start off with a time limit to get your partner used to being gagged.

Around the Kitchen

Here is where you can really get inventive - just take a look at Eva’s article to get yourself started here - think wooden spoons, ice cubes, warm toppings - one of my favourite tricks is definitely the ice cube / hot coffee oral sex combo: chill you mouth with the ice for round one then heat it up with coffee for the finale for the most sensational oral sex your partner has ever been given. Also in this room you might find candles (beeswax is best temperature wise to melt on the skin) forks, tenderisers, brushes - anything that will deliver a gorgeous sensation that your partner may not be expecting.

Around your Body

If you have ever massaged, bitten or scratched your partner you have already utilized some of the tools you are carrying on your own self to delve into a little sensation play - take it a step further with a blindfold, some restraints or even a gag and watch the power of your own body parts explode! Fingernails across the shoulder blade or buttock that has been newly spanked can deliver tingles on top of goosebumps. A hint of teeth on an aroused nipple will deliver a not so subtle erotic pain that will illicit endless moans of gratitude - then there are tongues, lips, fingers – all now with added power when your partner cannot see what is coming. Anticipation is often a key ingredient - as is creativity - so most importantly add that beautiful dirty mind to your toolbox and the sky is your limit.

So there you have it! The possibilities of potential kink are endless and you can find any range of kinky sex toys either in store, around the home, and around YOU to expand your sexual horizons. Just remember, it’s important to take time to explore what turns you and your partner on while playing safely. Discuss what taking it to another level would do to excite you. And remember, as with any new sexual adventure communicating with your partner is the most important of making it satisfying for both of you.