Our Essential Guide to One Night Stands

by Eva Sless - 08 December 2014 - 28 Comments

One night stands, hook-ups, booty calls... Whatever you want to call them, no-strings-attached sex can be awesome. It can put a spring in your step, a glow on your face and a warmth in your loins. Whether it's someone you've just met on a night out or maybe an organised hook-up arranged over the internet or similar there can be something very sexy and empowering about letting go for one night and just going with your primal animal instincts.

Of course, there are things you need to do to make sure it's a positive experience, so I've written down a few tips and tricks to make sure the old saying “walk of shame” is replaced with one of my favourite sayings: “The stride of pride”, because really, there should never be any shame attached to something as fantastic and enjoyable as sex.

Make your intentions clear.

If it's just a one-night-stand then you need to make sure the person you're hooking up with knows this. It's not fair on either of you if you don't. It's awkward and embarrassing for both parties if one person is looking for a quickie and the other wants a relationship of some sort. Trust me, I've been on both sides of this fence and it's not nice having to tell someone, after the fact, that they were just a one night thing. Nor is it nice being told, after what seemed like a great night full of connection and mutual like, that there is no future for anything further. Because that's the thing, sex is full of connections and chemistry, so you need to be clear on what sort of connection you're both having.

Be safe!

This is probably the most important thing. Safety. Not only sexual safety but personal safety as well.

Always carry condoms with you. Always. Both males and females. There is nothing worse than getting all primed for some hot sex and then finding out neither of you have protection. Well, actually, there is something worse. Deciding to go for it anyway and ending up with some kind of STI or an unwanted pregnancy. Seriously, for the girls, don't just assume guys will always have condoms on them and that it's their responsibility. Safe sex is EVERYONE'S responsibility. Be proactive.

When it comes to personal safety there are a few things you can do, because unfortunately in this world sometimes we have to be extra careful. Always let someone know where you're going and give them a time you'll be in contact with them. I know this can be hard to do if you're out and the hook-up just kinda “happens”, but it doesn't take long to send a quick text to a friend.

Don't go anywhere you feel uncomfortable, or with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. If your gut tells you something is wrong, then listen to it. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

Try not to get too drunk or high (not because “drunk girls invite bad things”, I abhor that message, but because it is always better to have your wits about you in new situations. No matter who you are, or what the situation). Always have a way of getting home yourself like money for a taxi or a friend to come get you.

Enjoy! Be Wild! Be Sexy!

One night stands are a bit like a blank page, you can write whatever you want on it without any preconceived ideas or prior knowledge getting in the way. You can invent yourself into an uber sexy character for a night. There's no need for them to really know anything about you except that you're there, you're sexy and you're up for a good time. Be vocal and let them know what you like and what you don't. There's no point having sex if it's not satisfying, so make the most of it!

Should I stay or should I go?

After the sex, after your breath is caught, after the afterglow there is often that slightly awkward “what do I do now?”thing. Do I kick them out of my bed? Do I stay? Do we snuggle? I think it's pretty important to have a contingency plan before you even start, like money for a cab or even giving them a “Hey, I have my sister coming round fairly early tomorrow so you probably won't be able to stay the night” white lie. You can always change your mind later if you decide you want them to stay, but letting them know beforehand that they can't won't make them feel like you're kicking them out when the night is over.

Regardless of when you leave, it is always good manners to say goodbye and thanks. If they happen to be asleep leave them a note. It's just polite and let's them know that the time you had together was a good one.

Be Respectful

Yeah, I know you'll probably wanna boast to someone about the night. Hey, good sex should be boasted about. But be respectful of the other person's feelings and privacy and, even if it ended up not being great sex, there is no need to go bad mouthing someone or ridiculing them. It's just bad form and not at all classy.

High Five Yourself!

Seriously! Be proud! You're an awesome, amazing, sexy, sexual human being who has just enjoyed a night of pleasure and self indulgence... Go you! Give yourself a wink in the mirror and a pat on the butt and go catch up on some sleep.


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  1. 1boris1one

    More than a month ago
    Remember, one night stand, is just that. If you "happen" to meet out afterwards, another day just acknowledge them with a kind "hello". Speak to them as a somebody you know, rudeness has no place.
  2. kittyhere

    More than a month ago
    Excellent article with practical hints. Everyone should read this and take note. Big mistake though is if you give them your contact details , cause some just don't get the whole one night stand concept and then the endless texting starts. It is what it is, one great night , which doesn't necessarily quantify for a relationship
  3. tallguy1965

    More than a month ago
    I'm so open to one night stands. However I believe there should always be a chance for both people but not to expect a reply in kind.
  4. 1976Tony

    More than a month ago
    One night stands can be an amazing experience. However! For some it can be the ultimate experience leaving one in a daze, even with the understanding of the encounter being a one night stand in the first place. Remember we are connected with chemistry and for some, part of that chemistry can be taken, stolen even. Leaving one somewhat empty! A void u may chase at anyone's emotional cost and keep in mind they are someone's emotions your playing with as well as your own. Beware of the one night stand!
  5. TwinPeaks78

    More than a month ago
    Never found one night stands to be either sexy, satisfying or fun. I never got it and probably never will


    More than a month ago
  6. greg080709

    More than a month ago
    informative and responsible reading...thanks...greg
  7. peterd069

    More than a month ago
    Yes from me also as the one night stand when clear that no one gets hurt would be heaps of sexual fun.
  8. missingsomthing

    More than a month ago
    great article your articles are always insightful
  9. Orgasmic035

    More than a month ago
    One night stands are awesome. People can be judged by having a one nighter, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's just great to have sex with someone and not have any emotional attachements afterwards...that's priceless! One night stands are not programmed for everyone though, as the typical "romantic" will start to shower you with gifts and alot of affection, woooha!

    Always discuss with your playmate prior to having sex your thoughts and feelings about sex...whether or not you just want a NSF sexual encounter or the start of a friendship/relationship. It's quite easy really, but so many people complicate the situation as they like their minds read and to play games.
  10. Shark3

    More than a month ago
    The stride of pride is what keeps me smiling. Nsa is good but also great to have a few nsa friends, then no relationship is formed as you smile about which friend you are seeing next. Some men dont like the idea you may have a mini harem but why should it matter if its all nsa and safe sex? Maybe i have a slight male gene or just comfortable having friends and no relationship
  11. Valkyrieseeker

    More than a month ago
    I was at a band one time and a girl came up to me and grabbed my hand, said take me back to your place, heat of the moment, agreed, got back to my place, had sex, she mentioned that l flooded her, (previous article you wrote regards squirting) maybe she did, bed was flooded, anyway, was about to go second round, where upon she asked for a lift home, dutifully, did so, but overall was a nice night, one l havnt forgotten, and see points of view. Thankyou.
  12. getback2me

    More than a month ago
    I love "the stride of pride"!!! It's a great feeling.
  13. onmyway2

    More than a month ago
    All round good positive post..

    Just keep safe.. and as said.. don't get to fucked up, Fun sex is good sex,,
  14. hornydazza

    More than a month ago
    Very well written. NSA fun is great and one night stands make life fun. Go enjoy yourself, but always be safe. It is hard as a guy to find genuine ladies for one night stands because so many guys stand them up or don't make it a pleasureable thing for the lady. If you can't be respectful and make the woman satisfied as well as your self, do us genuine ones a favour and don't ruin it for us.
  15. Binoella

    More than a month ago
    Love this post. Nothing like a good one night stand.
  16. funtime2014

    More than a month ago
    I like nsa sex but found many females are afraid of it. I see AMM profiles with nsa in them in interest they have relationship which blows the mind .... But personally I love nsa sex with friendship
  17. Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    CowboyBunny - many women don't mind a one-night stand, but they DON'T want to enable cheaters. Also many, like me, find bi men just too risky, health-wise


    More than a month ago
    Condom on the bi guys


    6 hours ago
    Condoms are no protection - they can break or slip off. I also wouldn't take the chance with a big guy.
  18. serg685

    More than a month ago
    It all depends of the circumstance but above all be careful not to fall on your arse when u r having fun because it can really happen too.
  19. curiouscat14

    More than a month ago
    A one night stand is the best thing anyone could ever ask for. Screw relationships.
  20. wildhorse69

    More than a month ago
    Great post. I think its better to eat at many restaurant, and try many tastes, variety is after all the spice of life, and you can always go back to your local with different ideas. (( :


    More than a month ago
    Hehe very well said!
  21. CowboyBunny

    More than a month ago
    That's awesome just wish women would see it in black and white as a night of fun, I have always said I'm looking for a meaningful one night relationship.

    But that just seems to turn most off.

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