The Myths and Mechanics of Multiple Orgasms
Eva Sless
on 24 September 2014
20 comments
Multiple orgasms. That elusive, although much talked about, phenomenon of erotic novels and Cosmo-esque sex columns. Are they real? Can anyone achieve one? What does it even mean? Some women have a hard enough time reaching just one orgasm, so the thought of a multiple wave of overlapping pleasure to many seems like a myth, a made up story with echoes of “The fish was THIS big!”
I can tell you, from my own personal experience, that yes, they do exist. However, I can also tell you, from personal experience, that they are not always easy to reach and are not something that happens every time you orgasm. And I can also tell you there are a few different kinds of orgasms that could be identified as “multiple” so the whole thing is a rather confusing mix of myth, fact, your own personal experience, and your own expectations of what it will be like.
There are three main types of orgasms that can be construed as “multiple” and, like I said, they can all be tricky to achieve and be different for each individual.
The One After Another
This is where you reach the peak of orgasm, let it flow, let your body relax again, and then, before you've really got your breath back, become stimulated again to reach another.
The All Over Orgasm
This is when you've reached the peak of a great orgasm and, even though you're not re-stimulated, your whole body still feels the effects and shivers with small movements. Like, you squeeze your legs together and the pleasure runs through you again. Or your skin is touched and each nerve ending fills with shivery pleasure throughout.
The Rolling Continuing Orgasm
This is probably the one most talked about in books and sex columns and the one that is the hardest to achieve. Basically you reach that peak of orgasm and before you get to that come-down stage, another peak is reached, then another and another until your body is just a mess of sensations and orgasmic pleasure.
As tricky as they are to master, there are a few things you can do to try and maximise your potential. The main thing, though, is to not get so caught up in the want to achieve one, because it can make the whole experience a let down, and that's something sex and sexual pleasure should never be.
Kegels
The key to strong orgasms is a strong pelvic floor. The kegel muscles are the ones that tense and contract when orgasming and so the stronger those muscles are, the stronger your orgasms will be and the more likely they'll be to repeat the process. Ben-Wah balls and weighted duo balls are some of the best sex-essories to have on your side. The clenching of your vagina muscles around them is the best way to strengthen them without having to think that much about it and, using balls like these every couple of day for around 10-15 minutes will have your kegels strong and primed for action within just a few weeks.
Vibrators
Whether you come from clitoral or vaginal stimulation, a good vibrator can be an essential part of learning how to come over and over. The main reasons are that firstly a vibrator will not get tired and lose concentration like your own fingers or a partner may do (this is by no means a slight on your partner, but just an observation that these things can take a lot of time and effort, especially when you're just learning how to reach them and you really need consistency) and secondly, a vibrator with multiple speeds and pulse functions can be exactly what you need to change up the sensations at just the right time to get over that peak again. Play with your vibrator and let yourself come then, if you're not too sensitive keep the vibrator going. Try and pass the “don't-touch-me-don't-touch-me” sensation that often comes after orgasm and try and focus just on the pleasure. If your toy has multiple settings it can be a good idea to up the speed or change the pulse slightly. This changes the information being sent to the part of the body you're stimulating and can help by-pass the body's usual reaction to orgasm which is for the muscles to stop contracting and relax back to their rest position.
Arousal Gels
These really can work. There are a lot of arousal gels on the market and some will work better than others, and some people will react differently to them depending on the ingredients. Most of them (although not all) contain some sort of menthol or peppermint which activates the nerves in the clitoris to be heightened and therefore more sensitive. Others work in ways that open up the blood vessels within the clitoral area, increasing blood flow and therefore making the area fuller, easier to find and more sensitive to touch. They can work by allowing your body to stay sensitive and aroused even after orgasm, therefore making it easier to reach the next peak.
There are many different brands of these but the ones I would recommend to try would be the Clitoral Arousal Gels and Volt Pods by System Jo and the Clitoral Drops by On! Arousal. They can be slightly pricey, depending on where you buy them from, but they really can help in the whole process.
No Distractions
One of the things that research has shown to be the biggest failings in women's abilities to orgasm (even just once) is the over-thinking, over-worrying thing that our brains do that can often drown out the rest of our body. You need to be completely relaxed and aware of your surroundings. If your kids are due home from school in an hour that's what your brain will keep going to. If there's a lot of distracting background noise it will be hard to stay focussed. Relax in a bath, or in a nice dark bedroom. Put on some music that relaxes you. Turn off the TV, the washing machine, your phone. Take time out just for you and your orgasm.
I really want to stress, though, that a multiple orgasm, no matter how amazing and “must-have” the magazines and websites tell you they are, is not the be all and end all of sex. The entire journey of a sexual experience is what is important. The personal well-being of your own body and mind that comes from being in tune with your sexuality is a far greater pay-off. So don't focus too much weight on it. See if you can, that's always fun to try, but if you can't you are by no means any less of a woman or a sexual being. You are just human, and part of the beauty of the entire human race is that we are all different, and do things in our own way.
20 comments
90r930u5
More than a month agoI love this article and while I've had some of the orgasms it's exciting to have an idea of what to expect ;)
ReplyConnoisseurs123
More than a month agoThe article made lots of points I agreed with, but getting there differs for every individual. Without a vibrator, and through receiving oral sex, but being truly relaxed and totally into it, I came 108 times one evening. Usually I lose count but on this occasion I had great clarity and just kept counting as they kept rolling on. The first and last 2 were separate. I literally could not keep the smile off my face all the next day, I was so happy. Top that, it was so amazing.
Replystaytoplay
More than a month agoI don't have any trouble reaching multiple orgasms. I love to start with receiving great oral sex which will be a huge one and then I am primed to keep coming with sex or giving oral. I can reach orgasm without any direct stimulation at all (not even a touch)by giving great head, kissing, etc. Just when I am in the zone. The best orgasm I ever had lasted for over 20 minutes, of ecstasy that just kept rolling in waves,continuously. That was from great oral sex from my partner, his technique is amazing. In a threesome the other night I came over 20 times and lost count, with both him and her. I feel so lucky to be a woman!!!
Replycoastgirl68
More than a month agoits a package thing.. compatability, trust, same wave length of great sesx, pleasing n being pleased. knowing your lovers body and responses, teasing,foreplay. if i am with a compatable lover-which i select very carefully, multiple orgasms a normal. but then i have a very hish libido..lol great article thou..:))
Replytropicalrain
More than a month agoI am a total hedonist and love sexual pleasure. When im having oral I can imagine my vagina as an instrument being playedi in an orchaestra. I will orgasm over and over again. Its all about the brain and how you allow yourself to get into that space. Other times I can visual my partner as a professional massage therapist working on every part of my body but his giving me oral. I'm very luck to have the gift of squirting when i reach total orgasm.Above all its all about the right partner, the chemistry and the sexual connection.
Replyeden229
More than a month agoShe's just had her first DP, loved it, had an anal orgasm (with me in her arse) but is now wanting to work up a double simultaneous viginal/anal orgasm which she thinks she can achieve....and expects this will be a new high in what's an already exceptional sex adventure for us.
Replyeden229
More than a month agomy amazing girl has 3 different types of orgasms, clitoral, vaginal and anal.... and within that describes even more variations. She loses herself entirely to the stimulation, often can't even hear anything i've said during the act, she rarely thinks about anything but what she's feeling, no fantasies, no sex talk just focus on the act.
ReplyI think that's what allows her to have some many orgasms, has had more than 100 in a session, average would be 20-40, what's so rare is her ability to not just enjoy anal sex but to have multiple orgasms without any contact with her clit/vagina. Have never met a girl like this, I wonder if many more exist?
Lemontarttt
More than a month agoThought that was a good article .Of course there's a lot thats not explained,that would be a book.Couple of observations though, you'l need a properly prepared pussy, hot ,tingling,puffed up and swollen, inside and out, g-spot area like a fat little catepillar , and squishy engorged walls full of nerves that all go off whatevers happening in there.
ReplyAnd not being distracted..letting go.Doesnt matter if your a good fuck or what you might do next or if you look good, Put that all aside, blindfolds and loud music help a lot, and make it a simple feeling, doesnt matter if you come or not,or if yr messy, squeeze and squirt away, its very sexy and its not wee, really, taste it.
Last ,I think its making paths in the brain, once youve been there its easier to find it again.So cum on girls,practise..cum for the country!
dannii_4_3
More than a month agowhen a woman is anxious or has things on her mind .. then even the most talented tongue or powerful vibrator can fail .. destressing and persistence is vital ..
ReplyBmpearl235
More than a month agoNoHarmInAsking, you are correct mate, I had a guy who cum 5 times in an hour, it was wonderful :)
ReplyI'm 59 and I still gush lots and have multiple orgasms, my poor bed is a mess after, but love it :D
NoHarmInAsking
More than a month ago
ReplyMen can multi-orgasm too. It's about strengthening the pelvic muscles, and learning to separate the orgasm and ejaculation programs within the brain, so that you have orgasms without necessarily ejaculating.
PLUGNPLAY.69
More than a month agoBuilding a lady up to orgasm and keeping her there is what life is all about. There's nothing more beautiful than a lady who repeatedly orgasms over a couple of hours...love it!
Replyphuk4hrs
More than a month agoGreat article,and I agree with all the comments made as well..like the other guy I also believe the guy needs to be able to last more than 5mins.
ReplyAll the ladies I have been with now have multiple orgasms..
Some had never orgasmed with a guy inside because they cum quick...guys need to pick up there game and control themselves better. So ladies a vibrator is great,like the article says but if u really want to enjoy multiple orgasms, just get yourself a real man who cares...
Happy humping....
Stamina2000
More than a month agoI wouldn't say that a vibrator is the "all" of multiple orgasms, would say it is only a small part of it actually!, there is a lot more that is not in-depth explained!
ReplyRalph001
More than a month agoI have given other ladies all over orgasims as well by keeping focussed and getting really into knowing their bodies as well as my own, my husband agrees it is a joy to watch as well as be a part of pleasuring another woman so thoroughly she just glows afterwards. Great article, well written thanks.
ReplyStamina2000
More than a month agoI've given a few women multiple orgasms!, there are no real secrets, more of "style"
Replyfairysex
More than a month agoI have been with a guy for almost 12 months and I still have the best orgasms. He loves it when I am just laying around afterwards and I start to have another one. Very satisfying.
Replypleasingcple
More than a month agogood article
ReplyWitsandboobs
More than a month agoThanks for the clarification of what a multiple orgasm really is :)
ReplyRubyandSir
More than a month agoVery nice piece , good advice about the " no distractions " as well .
Reply