Avoid the Pitfalls and Make Your Threesome Fantasy a Reality

by Chantelle Austin - 29 January 2014 - 53 Member Comments
Avoid the Pitfalls and Make Your Threesome Fantasy a Reality

Now you have your first threesome date booked in so it’s really important to be as prepared as possible; physically, mentally and emotionally as it has the potential to make or break you... Ok that was the warning label, now onto how you can turn a fantasy threesome into a titillating reality.

So apart from the obvious; make sure you have condoms and lube, a place to play with a drop sheet and mop-up towels (you just never know), there are a number of things you need to pre-plan or discuss to make sure your first three way experience is utterly mind-blowing and not a dramatic blow out.

  1. Discuss the expectations each of you have about the night. While I always suggest going in with no expectations and going with the flow, there is always at least one person who gets disappointed because things “didn’t turn out” which suggests they had a way they expected or hoped for it to go… So get all potential expectations and I hope’s out on the table before the big event so you know what you are both expecting from each other as well as the third person, that way you can both lead the night in the same direction, or be reminded that just having an expectation of enjoying the experience, no matter what happens, is the best kind of attitude to have.
  2. Decide how the third person fits in! And I don’t mean Part A goes into Slot B… Is the third person purely for one of you or do you want their attention to be on both? And if you want it on both, is it ok for their attention to be on just one for a little while? As that sometimes happens. Also, are there any actions you aren’t comfortable with the third taking or being involved in? If it’s your first threesome experience, you might prefer it to be play only and no actual sex, or perhaps it just for a bisexual exploration so the sex with the third is just with the same sex partner. Once you work out how you want your third to participate, let them in on the game plan otherwise they will just go with the flow and may inadvertently try something one of you isn’t comfortable with.
  3. Have a safe word which let’s everyone know you need a few moments or to discuss something before going further, you know, a “time out”. With it being your first threesome experience there is one thing you can’t really plan for and that’s how you will actually cope emotionally when it’s all happening. To create an extra sense of security (which is the best feeling to go into this with), agree to have an out for all if someone’s emotions start to impact their enjoyment of the night. After that, it’s even more important that you a) use it if you are starting to feel a bit uneasy or uncomfortable, or b) stop all play if anyone uses it and openly discuss what’s going on for them so you have a better chance of continuing to play after.
  4. Decide how you are going to end the night. Are they sleeping over or would you prefer they hit the road with a “thanks for coming” (pun intended)? Have you got a separate bed for them or are they sleeping with you guys? Have you got a plan for breakfast if they stay? Make sure you have multiple breakfast options in case they have food allergies or are just fussy (we all have our quirks). Oh and again, let them know what options they have so they can decide something which will be ok with you two too.
  5. Go easy on each other! Remember this is your first time and just like when you had sex for the first time or had your first serious relationship, you didn’t get those 100% right either. To minimise potential issues, stick to what you both agreed to for the night in terms of your boundaries but know that you can’t plan for every scenario so if you haven’t discussed something, assume it’s a “not ok” and discuss it in the debrief. Outside of that, we all make mistakes in the heat of the moment or we don’t end up feeling as ok about something we thought we would so be forgiving with each other as you take these first steps!

Clearly communication is the key to success in this and you can’t do enough of it; between yourselves and with your playmate/s so you are all on the same page. Now you’ve got what you need so go forth and enjoy, and let us know how your first experience goes, we love to hear your stories (yes, we are voyeurs too!).

53 Member Comments

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  1. roysie62

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for the heads up I have never had any luck
  2. Toyzza22

    More than a month ago
    Its always handy to read these articles if your a first timer or for others who have experience a 3some. Keep the mind refreshed.... Thank you. :)
  3. ChampaynePMQ

    More than a month ago
    great article hope you don't mind I copy and pasted the main points onto a swinger page on fb I said I didnt write it and was a article did leave your name or where it came from..a very well informed article..its a must read for all couples that want to experience the full benefits of including another partner into your sex life and personal life..Thank you
  4. socialsuicide01

    More than a month ago
    Imurbitch , some advice. You will need to leave your partner and the +1 alone for maybe 30mins to get the ball rolling. My preference has been to meet in the hotel bar and see if everything is going along fine and then tell the +1 that he 30mins alone, tell em to go and then wait.
  5. Kinkster64

    More than a month ago
    I've got my 1st with my partner booked in next tuesday, I'm nervous as hell about it, but can't wait! It all sounds like good advice.
  6. socialsuicide01

    More than a month ago
    We as a married couple engage in MFM a lot. Our overall experience has been very positive. The main ingredient is that the women has to love cock, and has a great desire for being pleasured by men. Secondly the male partner of the couple has to be relaxed and have zero issues regarding jealousies and has to be into seeing his partner being fucked silly all night. All 3 have to get along on all levels for the erotic play to happen . The women has final say on all issues. Loving cum is also very important as there tends to be a lot of it flying around, so if you are squeamish about being hit with friendly fire, MFM is not for you. MFM is the sexiest most erotic sex you will ever have.
  7. estibex

    More than a month ago
    Sound fun but to be honest I didn't have it yet
  8. Raviausi

    More than a month ago
    Great article it's help for first step for threesome
  9. Carlosy

    More than a month ago
    Life is life love is love I would like to chat with nice person and lovely and honest ,
  10. curiousasian69

    More than a month ago
    Re: MrNyceGuy, you make a valid point that most men don't understand that is a massive step for a couple. It annoys me that people don't understand this and wonder what the big deal is. I hope men out there take note of your list because presentation is a big one for me.
  11. NoHarmInAsking

    More than a month ago

    I'm having no luck getting beyond a onesome !!!
  12. Sexymindxxx69er

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for sharing your experience with other Kindly and Good people from this site! I meet a couple not long ago & it was AMAZING I am looking further to explore & learn a bit more :-) Thanks
  13. am84fun

    More than a month ago
    *** Don't play in your own bedroom *** This is a big one. This ensures that the bedroom does not become an awkward place in the home should anything go askew. It does and probably will sometime, but you need to be able to work though it, and in your own space. It isn't so good trying to sleep if your in a play zone and no "your Space" if it does happen. Open Door policy. If two are playing and the third has gone to have a rest or nap, you dont need to get jealous. The Open door means no matter what they are doing in the "Play Zone" is that the other can join in at any time, and no door is closed to exclude anyone. This is very important as a closed door can cause severe issues.Its imperative for to feel OK to be part of the activity should they wish. The biggest thing of all is to communicate and also watch for signs of an issue. A bit of alcohol and a hard dick and guys forget there are others involved. Cheers!

    NSA2016

    More than a month ago
    Hey that's a great point ... I never considered this fact... We have had two MFM's both were extremely different and enjoyable ... But hey I was F lol
  14. am84fun

    More than a month ago
    Additional things to consider that work very well. Have a no play zone in the house. It may be half the house or the Main room Kitchen and Lounge etc. This means there is no play in that area and allows for chill area especially if there is more than three. Also have Chill hats ( Party hats are good). Safe words are good but the hat works well when you want time out but want to be in the "active" part of the property with others but want some rest time.
  15. CuteandBusty

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for the article. I had a 3sum last month. Took awhile to find 2 males but they were housemates so there was no emotional attachments at all so we all 3 enjoyed ourselves immensely. Can't wait for the next session :)
  16. viccouple96

    More than a month ago
    Great blog, Thankyou for sharing your experience to first timers.
  17. diva50

    More than a month ago
    thank you i two now would like to try i tell others go for it weather its two guys on a girl um going to up date my profile many thanks
  18. 6uandme9

    More than a month ago
    I have enjoyed many threesomes over the years. All have ended with ongoing friendships. The advice above is perfect. Thank you for sharing this with us.
  19. partnerpal

    More than a month ago
    Very good, the communication of the couple and what they both want out of the experience is so important. We have had the extra male join us a few times with great success so far.It is in my opinion the best result is to let the female say as it evolves what she likes and allows...In other words she is in control then all will be happy....Cheers to all who expand their sexual horizons.
  20. DingDong31

    More than a month ago
    It brings back memories...
  21. outbackcpl2468

    More than a month ago
    Thanks now just have to work out how to meet a lady to join us.
  22. Perth_654321

    More than a month ago
    Thank you for the useful information.
  23. 2+2outwest

    More than a month ago
    Guys, the chance of finding two ladies to join you is pretty slim. Go find a partner who is willing for a third to join in ... and do not be against the third being another bloke!
  24. wewantoshare

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for that information.
  25. shemalesex

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for the article, definitely wanting to try the fun of a 3sum with two hot sexy shemales someday, I definitely would enjoy having the attention on me with both of them, lets hope this site will help me find my ultimate fantasy someday, thanks.
  26. basquion

    More than a month ago
    That really is a timely piece of information, well written. I am impressed that it popped up when I was contemplating a threesome.. nice cookie work and very much appreciated not intrusive at all.
  27. rperle

    More than a month ago
    Hi - Generally good, but I really have an issue with the statement
    'you might prefer it to be play only and no actual sex'.
    I presume by 'actual sex' you mean penetrative sex. if so, then say so. 'Sex' is what gives pleasure, whether that involves genital contact or not. Pleasure and orgasms from non-genital contact are a wonderful part of my world, and and as valid a sexual act as penetrative sex.
  28. NLindsayfan

    More than a month ago
    And never forget to pay attention to your steady partner - some men forget in the novelty of having someone new to play with and it spoils it for your regular
  29. Sexymindxxx69er

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for the article ' much appreciated but I don't understand why is so hard ' sometime to "Find the RIGHT ",, couple :-)
    Thanks had a 3 sum before which I LOVE IT
    But want to Explore & Experience more
  30. ladylaid

    More than a month ago
    Food allergies !!
  31. dontnoask

    More than a month ago
    I had my 1st 3sum with a lady who I've been seeing for awhile now and she has had 3sums b4 I just went into it wanting it yes I didn't know how I would handle some other guy fucking my woman but I said it was what I wanted she agreed to give me the experience and she chose the guy she was ok with and we had fun
    I can't wait for our next mmf and then my 1st ffm
  32. Dalmation1968

    More than a month ago
    Thanks for that.

    I'll use this to pass on to any new couples I could potentially be intimate with.

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