Online Dating Photo Failures Men Should Avoid

by Profile Diva - 07 August 2013 - 20 Member Comments


I’m the Profile Diva and I’m here to give you a woman’s point of view on how you can improve your online dating experience, and attract the women you want.

This will be the first in a series of articles that focus on the three key areas that men need to get right to maximise their online dating success: Photos, Profiles, and First Messages.

First of all, let me explain some general principles that you may or may not know about women and online dating.

  • Women, especially when they are new to a dating site, are literally bombarded with messages and winks from men. It is not uncommon for women to receive up to 1000 messages in a week.
  • Women need more than just a photo to feel attracted to a man, even if they are just looking for something casual.
  • Women are usually not in a rush to meet up and generally like to have an online chat, a couple of emails, or a phone call to feel comfortable.

So, taking these principles into account, the three things you need to master online are:

  • The ability to stand out in the crowd.
  • A willingness to share details about who you are.
  • The patience to take a little time for seduction and building attraction.

Ok, let’s start at the beginning - your photos.

Your photos are your only chance to make a first impression, and considering you may be one of hundreds of others trying to get a woman’s attention, it’s crucial that you don’t fall at this key hurdle.

Needless to say, if you don’t provide any pictures, you’ve instantly shot yourself in the foot, and are not likely to get a woman’s attention.

Even though looks may not be the MOST important thing to women, they still form the cornerstone of attraction. A great photo creates that first initial spark of interest that makes a woman want to know more about you.

So, what makes a great photo? Well that’s a complex question, so let’s start with what DOESN’T make a great photo, and that may help you choose yours more wisely.

After actively online dating for the last several years, I’ve pinpointed the top three mistakes that I think men make when choosing profile photos.

No Head

Guys, I know this is an “adult” dating site, and many of you want to use it with discretion for a variety of reasons, but seriously, a photo that is nothing but a naked torso with no head is just NOT good enough.

Maybe you’d be happy to meet up with a woman with nothing more than a picture of her from neck to knees, but most women need a bit more. Remember, it’s all about generating attraction, and a man’s body, even if it is gorgeous, is not enough to grab most women’s attention and hold it.

From my own experience, a very small percentage of men provide pictures of their face, and they always catch my eye simply because they’re different. So if you are comfortable with it - just do it! It will help you stand out from all the headless mirror selfies and attract more women.

Cropped Out Ex

This is one of the most common mistakes with profile photos, and one that has the tendency to turn women off in an instant.

Guys, never, EVER use a photo of you and your ex (or any other woman) where you’ve tried (and failed) to crop her out of the frame. Whether it’s just some hair, a bit of her face, or a hand on your shoulder, women WILL notice this and immediately start wondering who that woman is.

They will not be focusing on you and what makes you attractive, which is the whole point of having a picture in the first place.

X-Rated Only

I know you’re proud of your body, and you may just be looking for casual, kinky fun online, but I can guarantee that your penis is NOT the first thing a woman wants to see when she clicks on your message or profile.

It’s also not the ONLY thing she wants to see, so even if you choose to include a snapshot of your assets, provide some other more traditional pictures as well.

I’d also suggest that you consider what type of woman you’re trying to attract online. If you’re just looking for purely sexual encounters, you can be a bit more risqué with your photo choices. However, if you want to attract a higher calibre of experience, you should err on the side of caution, and leave the naked photos for another time.

Just like men, women like a little mystery, and you can just as easily describe your manhood in words. This is just as effective and in my opinion, and far sexier than a badly lit bathroom mirror selfie.

If you avoid these three photo failures you’ll be on your way to creating a profile that works FOR you, not against you, and attracts the women you want.

Happy Dating!

Profile Diva XXX

20 Member Comments

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  1. Love.Doctor

    More than a month ago
    In general the above covers the obvious but its more detailed than that.

    For men its difficult to get even 50% of the rules correct. We are the ones on show similar to the animal kingdom where the old peacock displays his feathers to potential females. On top of men having to stand out from the crowd, females get to set their own rules when it comes to picking and choosing. Women base searching on the physical (as much as most will deny this) so want to see a mans body despite claiming the contrary - so the gym buffed up guys get exempt from this articles rules they are automatically in and classed as hot. You see this in everyday life and even here in the chat rooms. So while women like to set standards they are selective in applying them. I agree in general not only for a sex site but just human decency - so no pics of an erection next to a coke can (pretty stupid) pics of your mouth wide open while holding a beer (not exactly attractive). I do believe nude pics can be done in a respectful decent way as it depends on 'intentions'. It is a sex site and as women get to choose there are some decent men (i'd like to throw myself in that group) that try to display those mature decent attributes which I'm sure most women pick up on. We are saying "hello, this is me...I will leave it up to you whether you'd like to take it further or not". Like I mentioned, if you're one of the genetically lucky guys no rules are applied to them and this article doesn't apply.

    In relation to the headless photo...I actually worked in the same office as a woman on this site and while she did have part head shots in her gallery I matched her dress sense and body posture to the pics. Didn't bother me she was on this site, in fact the type of pics she took along with her personality made her more attractive. Unfortunately there are people out there that are not as easy going, simple and accepting as myself (or her) which prompts a lot to have to hide their identity in the initial stages, as being open and honest can be used against you by the not so tame.
  2. missjazz

    More than a month ago
    very good advice. As a women may I add do NOT go on about how horny you are in the very first conversation. It makes a girl think you care only for yourself
  3. trythishard1

    More than a month ago
    This site caters for people who enjoy posting and viewing explicit pics . Other dating sites do not . So if people don't want to see them , is that not their issue ? Plenty of girls do like seeing them ( as long as you have a decent variety of face and body pics in your private gallery , which I do ) . I enjoy being an exhibitionist , it turns me on that people are looking at my cock . To suggest I take them down would give people a false impression of me and what I am here for . I believe honesty is better than presenting yourself how you think other people want to see you . Isn't that dishonest ? For me , what you see is what you get , take it or leave it !! . The people that decide to take it always get what they expect . :-)
  4. Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Men really need to read this article - still so many with NO photo at all. I'm afraid that, unless the accompanying message is extremely well-written and witty, you've lost any chance with me.
  5. Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Photo fails, in my opinion, are:

    Wearing sunglasses - PLEASE show your eyes!

    A photo of your undies - what's that about?
  6. Leolady727

    More than a month ago
    Aussielover2010 - great comment. Men don't seem to think about profile names - I know some turn ME off instantly. And, for pity's sake guys, using "69" in your profile is not unusual or witty - do a search some time and see how many there are.

    Another profile name that turned me RIGHT off was one called "bangitin" now, doesn't THAT sound like a man who respects women - NOT
  7. Zara101

    More than a month ago
    I have been updating my profile over the last week.I do not consider myself a prude but I think leaving a little to the imagination in the sexual interests, may be something some men may want to reconsider.I personally find it a little disturbing how many guys just expect to hook up for a quick encounter with out even a phone chat and then get offended rude and abusive if you do not have pics of your naked bits in your gallery. I have also been told on many occasions that this is purely a sex site so I should not be on it. What the ? There is the relationship option.
  8. ProfileDiva

    More than a month ago
    Great insight SexyBBWLooking! I couldn't agree more. Stay tuned for my next two articles that address Profiles and First Messages. Doing what I can to help guys get the message that they need to make more of an effort to be successful online.
  9. ProfileDiva

    More than a month ago
    Thanks Iwantyou1984 for joining the conversation. It helps to have some feedback from a woman to help men understand what women need to feel attraction. Women's insecurity about their bodies is a HUGE deterrent to them feeling sexually confident, and when men focus so heavily on the physical, many women shy away fearing rejection. Seduction doesn't mean romance - it just means taking some time to make a woman feel special, attractive and desired.
  10. ProfileDiva

    More than a month ago
    Hi Guys, thanks for the great comments. Good to know my advice is hitting the mark with some of you out there. Tradie92 - I think you're right about there being a lot of girls just in it for the attention, especially in your age bracket, but there are ways to detect them and not fall into the trap of wasting too much time with them. Maybe I'll have to write an article about that!
  11. porsche8869

    More than a month ago
    Great article, thank you and Oh so true. I think it comes down to common sense for both male and females and as mentioned, leave the penis photos for another time.
    I find most guys are so focused on themselves, it makes me almost ashamed to be a male, honestly the language we use. When was the last time you where truely romantic, telling her how wonderful she is, what she is wearing, opening the car door for her, or any door for that matter. Getting up when she leaves the table, or when she returns. All this has been lost and it shows in the emails/messages we write. Show some respect!!
  12. traddie92

    More than a month ago
    Great information. There is only one suggestion. That is that, some woman love the attention and do not actually want anything more than just a few kinky msg's and maybe a photo swap. There is a fine like between a girl interested in you and a girl who is able to manipulate you into thinking your in. Causing guys to start to get more frisky and then if there into you they get turned off. I find that you need to be straight up with them, kind, sexy, and yes mysterious.

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