How to deal with Online Dating Rejection: Suck it up Princess!

by Cam Langdon - 26 April 2012 - 25 Member Comments

Guys, online dating rejection is not the huge drama you might think it is, and is definitely no reason to give up on your efforts to meet that perfect woman - a friend with benefits.

One of the most important things that you have to learn about with online dating – and that includes adult dating sites where sex is the priority – is that you will be subject to rejection. And if not that, then maybe you will be ignored or blocked or otherwise given the cold shoulder.

I’m not going to trot out some Anthony Robbins inspired motivational piece about dealing with the horrible, emotional trauma associated with the blow to your manly ego caused by rejection.

I am going to tell you to man up!

In the world of online dating, there is no room for crying and moaning about being rejected. It has happened to me more times than I care to admit. At first, yes, I wanted to write a letter to the site administrators complaining about the type of women they allowed to become members – but then I settled down and decided to make the most of it. I had paid money after all! And I wasn’t going to stop trying until I had met at least one girl.

Luckily, I soon learned all the correct tactics to be successful in online dating, and that first goal of one date was soon reached. And then exceeded … by many.

Like it or not, you are going to have to play it like a numbers game. Employ a scatter-gun approach. Write to lots of women, and you are sure to get some nibbles – but only if you are thinking with your head and not your penis when you write your emails. As some of the ladies said in their responses to my previous article – treat women with respect even if they are primarily looking for a sex partner. I’m no advocate of soppy, romantic dating sites, but one of them hits the nail on the head with its very name. Yes, there are “plenty of fish” in the sea. Many grains of sand on the beach. So, don’t give up until you get a result.

In practical terms, look at why are you being rejected and, very importantly, by what kind of woman.

Maybe you are expecting miracles. You might be a middle-aged man with a beer gut, scratching out a living. She is a gorgeous babe with a career that’s going places. Now, you may be the nicest bloke in the world, but she is most likely going to look you over. A woman like this will not respond to you no matter what. Rejection assured. You are much better off looking for females closer to your own age, perhaps widowed. Chubby women are often hot to trot. You get the picture.

I had a guy react to my last article like this: “With 10 times more men than women on here, it doesn't matter how good you write your profile, or how smooth you are at talking, 9 out of 10 men on here are going to miss out, and that's a FACT. What have you got to say about that Cam Langdon?”

Here’s my response to that. I often say to guys who are blaming the man-to-woman ratio for their poor results to compare the situation with a job interview. Most people have applied for jobs where there are potentially thousands of applicants for one position. Say it’s 1,000 apply and one job. If you don’t get the job, it’s disappointing, sure. But you soon get over it and start applying for other jobs. That same philosophy should guide you with online dating.

But here's the other side of the coin: someone DID get that job! The one who put the most effort and time into their application. Try and be THAT person, not the ones who dipped out. And guess what else? I'm betting that the guy who got the job had been rejected before on quite a few occasions - and he learned lessons from those experiences.

I cannot give you a 100% accurate figure on the ratios on AMM, but I’ll admit there are more men than women, which seems to be the case for all dating sites. That means you just have to try a little bit harder. And, from what the ladies have been saying about the approaches they get from many rude and ignorant guys, it shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve!

Once you accept the fact that rejection is an unfortunate reality in online dating, the sooner you will wake up to the fact that you need to be smart about the way you target, as well as casting the net as widely as you can.

PS. Thanks for all the comments on my previous articles, and that includes the negative as well as the positive.

25 Member Comments

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  1. Bartender84

    More than a month ago
    Your first objective on a online site is to realise that variety is the spice of life.
    If you only have one specific type you going to be lonely.
    When i joined i thought...ah cool every woman is going to want to fuck! Yes they are but not every women is going to fuck you. Plain and simple.
    Chat rooms are great to chat and shoot the shit...but the real hero is private chatting...send a request see what happens....success and failure rate is very skewed to the latter so dont get discouraged and also send messages....lots of messages. I have been online for 6 years and i havent ever got a message from a woman. The only time they nessages is when you are exactly what they want and that happens very seldom. All this is just my experience not gospel! Keep on plodding brothers! Also try couples and maybe men! Its sex and fun doesnt have to be thought about so much.
  2. Fitbit73

    More than a month ago
    When you have an avalanche of men to choose from; womens standard naturally go spiralling north; why scrap the bottom when you can have the cream; years ago the ratio : men to women; was a little less; know with the invent of other free apps; women actively using AMM has declined; so our chance or odds have greatly diminished. This is my second stint on this site; the first time i had a pleasent experience with a few stunning women; this time round it seems Ive lost my touch.
  3. PLoverOz

    More than a month ago
    If only profile views meant people wanted to meet then i wouldn't be pissed off that much and just recently contacted someone who i fell within their criteria age and gender they were looking and the person responds "sorry you don't fall within are age group", your profile says 21 to 45 or whatever and i'm 25 and you tell me this bullshit as someone said i'm not going to lose sleep over this. If all fails at least i'm sure there will be a silver lining somewhere.
  4. Clickable

    More than a month ago
    Re: response I got from a recent message.

    I never assume someone is interested just because they look at my profile. I can only go by what is contained in their profile, the description of who they are seeking and if it is interesting enough, and may inspire me to send them a genuine message.
    I do however expect a modicum of respect in a reply, a simple....."thanks but your not what Im looking for is fine"
    ....not "I don't intend to lower my standard just to chat with you" forgive me, but that does come across as rather insulting.
    Not the rejection, I can handle that, it's just the nature of the reply as it lacks respect.
    If the person sending you an email doesn't meet your expectations, that's fine, I do have certain requirements too in the person I seek. I respect that and so should they.
  5. juicypussy

    More than a month ago
    Happy-Boy - spot on!
  6. BigSoftBlonde

    More than a month ago
    Did I read this guys article wrong or was he suggesting guys who don't want to be rejected should try BBW's because they are hot to trot. Maybe that explains why I get a lot of winks? And I thought it was bc I was a top chick!


    More than a month ago
    Ha ha good one !! What he said is so chauvinistic !!
  7. lustfulwench

    More than a month ago
    Hello, some words of wisdom from someone who is female: A smile is worth more than a cock shot any day. What you have to say and how you go about saying it are both important....always be positive in the way you present information. Humour! Everyone loves humour! Let your sense of humour shine through. When I wrote my profile I wanted it to attract the right people, which it does...and I think because what you read is me, that is, when I meet someone there is congruency between myself and my profile words/description, I have success. Add some depth to your profile, a couple of lines about liking 4WD, footy, beer and mates isn't going to cut about what you like in the bedroom...what you'd like to explore...what are the things that turn you on? Be expressive. Another tip, be strategic in your approaches..and yes, look outside your local area. Lastly, manners maketh the man (sadly, some women have none). Be careful of gold diggers...never mention your financial status/ will only ever attract the wrong sort of women. And that's all I have to say about that. PS I always look at rejection as a saving grace.
  8. ozman81

    More than a month ago
    I too have 100% rejection rate but I don't take it seriously, there is a lot more to life than women :)
  9. peter1761

    More than a month ago
    It is hard for lonely men sometimes, so I'd encourage you to:
    1. Research each lady's profile you contact, and tailor your message appropriately. Be cocky and funny - within limits - not silly.
    2. Never come across as a "Sleaze", as it is a complete turn off for many.
    3. Treat the lady with respect, and above all, be yourself. After coffee, "window shopping" is a pastime they love.
    4. If you run out of things to say ... "Would you like a kiss and cuddle" is often what the lady is waiting for, but don't take any "liberties". Hands to self unless it naturally happens, or you are invited.
    5. Don't be "clingy" or needy. Give them space. Only ring every third or 4th day. Don't be Posessive, or Jealous".
    6. If it gets to the intimate stage, look after her needs, so that she finds you a most enjoyable and considerate companion - considerate "afterplay" shows respect, and shows her that she is not just another vessel in which to pour excess body fluids.
    7. To get people to read your profile, so you can write to them, write a story in "Articles".
    8. When you go Fishing, you don't catch the lot ... be content with the occasional one. If you don't get any, go back tomorrow and try again. If you are not successful with a particular one, move on and don't go back there.
    Best of luck ...
  10. loveathon

    More than a month ago
    Thanks also for the information. If anything one might be able to take some solace from the fact that when we reach our mid to late 50's and 60's (not a thought we relish I know) the ratio starts to even up a bit. I mean the 'gorgeous babe with a career that’s going places' isn't going to be gorgeous and have her career for ever and perhaps an article will be need to be written for her too.
  11. Mischeviouslad

    More than a month ago
    Agreed.... except for the try harder part.

    Try less hard.... but try.. smarter.
  12. paddy138

    More than a month ago
    You didnt tell us we didnt know.

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