Our first Threesome!

Well it’s personal choice and one that we struggled with ourselves in the beginning. Here is how we worked through it and how it turned out for us.

We originally decided we would go for a stranger because my husband wasn’t sure how he’d go seeing me with another man for a start. He was concerned that he might worry about me wanting to meet up with the other guy again, or that he might feel ok seeing him in the street. He wondered if he would get jealous if he saw us talking at a gathering somewhere and so on.

So we ventured into the online world and met someone in another city but the trouble with that was that once we met in person, we realized that there was no physical spark or attraction to take it further. It was a bit awkward to be honest and it put me off doing it that way for a while…

Then the discussion came to “well how about we try it with someone we trust”; someone we knew understood that it would be a one-time thing (or more if we chose it to be). We wanted someone we would feel comfortable with and whom hubby didn’t feel threatened by; someone that would respect our relationship and our commitment to each other. He had to be someone who I was physically attracted to and probably single. We figured it would be the least complicated situation…

Funnily enough a good friend of ours became single for a while and he became the prime candidate. After all he was a sexy man with rippling biceps, washboard abs and a sex-drive of champions… It was a bit hard to pass up that opportunity. At least you’d think so right? Wrong… I chickened out. I was scared I wouldn’t be good enough in bed! Silly huh! Well he did have some very gorgeous girlfriends, and I was a mother so my body wasn’t quite the same as it used to be. Yes, I hear you, there were some self esteem issues back then but still, I know some people will relate to this.

When we eventually (years later) decided to create that threesome, we went online and took our time to meet and chat to people. We met a few people in person but we waited until we found the right people whom we clicked with in a physical and friendship way.

So should you have a friend or a stranger for your first threesome? Personally you can do either. My suggestion is to work out what you feel most comfortable with. After years in the scene I have found that playing with someone you are both familiar with and attracted to, who is willing to play by your rules, is the best one to play with and it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend who isn’t in the lifestyle, or someone you meet in the scene who then becomes a friend.

The great thing about someone you meet in the scene is that you can play once and never have to see them again. The great thing about playing with a friend is that it’s more likely to involve a person who respects you and your relationship, or can turn out to be a good friend with benefits. It’s not always the case and it very much depends on the friend.

If you are considering having a threesome with a friend then Eva's article is essential reading. Check it out!

At the end of the day, it’s what feels best for the two of you. Try one way and if it doesn’t work for you, try the other but always have fun!