Let's have a threesome!

When you say, “let’s have a threesome” what do you mean exactly?

I read a forum question about this recently and it was talking about the various ways people define what a threesome is in terms of who does what, where the pleasure is focused and the configurations both men and women prefer, and why. So I thought it might be worth sharing what I learned, what I think and allow you to explore the definition for yourself.

So the typical configurations when it comes to the average couple is MFM or FMF, and typically men love the idea of FMF’s more than MFM’s. I say “typically” but know there are plenty of men out there who are not your typical men (hats off to you guys). You can have MMM’s and FFF’s too, they just aren’t as talked about. The types are still relevant to these but I just won’t be focused on them.

Now there are at least three ways threesomes work (no pun intended but it works so go with it): Unidirectional, bidirectional and multidirectional.

The issue that some men have when thinking about having another man naked in the room with them, is a fear/worry about the other man touching or playing with them in some way. If you’re into that sort of thing then yes it could be, however, in a unidirectional scenario, it’s more like having a team mate to help overload her senses; two-on-one, a kind of mission to see how orgasmic you can make her when you have extra hands, an extra tongue and another rock hard to pleasure her with. Which can be really nice for the female in the centre (I can vouch for that).

So unidirectional is where the pleasure focus is in one direction. It’s also done as an MFM where the female is pleasuring both the guys however and wherever possible, which is a very familiar scenario (often the favourite in porn for men), and the other variation on this one is in an FMF where the pleasure focus is on the man from both women. This specific scenario tends to rank number one on men’s fantasy bucket list, and who can blame them, I like it when it’s all about me too!

Bidirectional is where you have two out of the three parties pleasuring each other while the third watches or plays with themselves, and then often at some point one person is almost tapped out and the waiting person steps in. This is a good scenario when you have one person who is needs a break i.e. when you’re into the hard-core penetration part of the night and the orgasm hasn’t eventuated yet. It can be two guys who swap in and out so the female can orgasm, or the two girls swapping for a guy who mimics the Duracell/Energizer bunny and keeps going and going and… you get the point.

Multidirectional is literally an all in! I personally quite like this scenario and it’s more likely if the two same sex participants are at least bi-curious or bisexual (although technically this could be bi-directional… but that would be confusing). This is where the play is shared, you have 2 hands and one is on each of the other participants and you have at least 2 different body parts playing with you. It can be a daisy chain where it’s more of a circular pattern of play that changes direction (perhaps that’s another type altogether… but let’s not complicate things).

In reality what often happens is you all start with one type, move onto another and sometimes incorporate all 3 to some degree. There are no strict rules stating you must start and finish with the same type, although I can just see it now, the Police turning up on your doorstep with their fine book and giving you a ticket for straying from unidirectional to multidirectional… Ha!

So there you have it… just when you thought you were all talking about the same thing I’ve gone and blown the lid off it and muddied the waters with all my threesome techno-geek speak. Suffice it to say, now that you know, all you have to do is ask a few simple questions to decipher if the image you have in your head is the same as theirs when you get asked “would you like to have a threesome?”

Chantelle Austin

Chantelle Austin isn’t afraid to tackle taboo topics. She is the author of “The Essential Guide for Adventurous Couples” as well as a Relationship Coach for people and relationships that are outside the square. When it comes to relationships, swinging, sex and sexuality, nothing is swept under the rug! She encourages everyone to live and love according to what's best for them, because if it's consensual and not hurting anyone, why shouldn't they? Visit her website to purchase her book, find relationship solutions or to “Ask Chantelle” that burning question.www.chantelleaustin.com

Copyright © 2011 Chantelle Austin International
It is illegal to use any or all of this article without the expressed, written permission from the owner. If you wish to use it you must publish the article in it’s entirety and include the original author, plus links, so that it is clear where the content originated. Failure to do so will result in legal action being taken.

65 Member Comments

  1. horneeDevil26
    More than a month ago
    very eye opening :) thank you..
    hopefully others we talk too will be in the know of the lingo also.
  2. 40aussie
    More than a month ago
    mmm nice to know im not typical,mfm all the way
  3. MrMrsPlaymate
    More than a month ago
    We just love multidirectional threesomes - everyone is pleasured. It is such a sensual, sexual experience.
  4. dougie5
    More than a month ago
    I believe it depends on what people put in their profiles,and the honesty it displays to other people,
  5. jacktar.15
    More than a month ago
    3somes in my fantasy are awesome, in reality, 3some with MFM is my preferred as i get gr8 pleasure out of watching the lady having a fantastic orgasm with some help from 20 fingers, 4 hands, 2 tongues and 2 cocks.
  6. SexySaucySuzie
    More than a month ago
    Enlightening article, well written and easily understood by a novice (me). TY Chantelle
  7. w.inticipation
    More than a month ago
    it all depends on the chemistry open muti bi just sexy fun cheers,
  8. SuthernComfort4
    More than a month ago
    Could't have expressed it more clearly, can agree with MOST of the observations and comments but as for the male #1 bucket list have to disagree. MY perspective, but there again EACH TO THERE OWN
  9. bendigoman2
    More than a month ago
    Chantelle thanks for the informative insight on this very exciting way of having some group fun, I cant wait to try it in which ever direction it takes.
  10. taz4fun
    More than a month ago
    still dreaming of a MFF threesome......
  11. leisurely
    More than a month ago
    thanks for your easy-to-read outline of a field of pleasure which is all too often left in the world of fantasy! We should all be inspired to get out there and enjoy the world of threes!
  12. weerobby67
    More than a month ago
    I'm still dreaming of a threesome, never been there.
  13. Philthi
    More than a month ago
    very interesting reading. thank you it kind of ratifies my own personal idea of " if it feels right, go for it"
  14. ifp2004
    More than a month ago
    Very well written. Its all about choice..but most folk have too many taboos to really enjoy the true pleasures of being inolved in the full spectrum of the terminology you so aptly decsribed.
  15. paddy138
    More than a month ago
    I do prefer fmf, but mfm is ok as long as the guy doesnt touch me. How the hell that is going to happen on this site I dont know. All response I get is negative. One on one with a girl would be nice too, but there only negative response. Us guys outnumber the girls 10 to 1 on hear. Hopefully things will change for the better for me soon.
  16. Flashjewels
    More than a month ago
    I have to disagree with your interpretation of the majority of men's fantasy bucket list. I have found from talking to men and believe me I have talked to a lot in my 64 years that most men when it comes to FMF are more interested in watching the 2 women focussing on each other rather than on him.
  17. funmummy44
    More than a month ago
    Well it is something that I am willing to try
  18. SensualAfection
    More than a month ago
    I would love to be that woman in the middle. Hard enough finding one guy let alone two though. : /
  19. BustyGeorgette
    More than a month ago
    There is nothing more sensual than being taken to new heights of arousal with more than one partner. I have found that 2 men who are compatible sexually give a heightened erotic orgasm. I also say that each to their own.
  20. yowzer697
    More than a month ago
    like just about everyone I'm open to a threesome with the right people and right circumstances. To me fmf is equal to mmf.
  21. camper1962
    More than a month ago
    for us,,me and my partner.we are still leaning the enjoyment from it,mfm being good but yet to have fmf.but looking.
  22. cletrac1922
    More than a month ago
    Very much enjoy been in a MFM situation, and neither male is bi. Sure, there is physical contact between everyone, and nothing nicer than going oral on her, after both guys have climaxed inside her
  23. gemini1947
    More than a month ago
    We have found that having a third party heightens our sexual pleasures for several days afterward.
  24. biluvers
    More than a month ago
    Bi 3somes are the best, no one cares who Touches who, we love them MMF FFM MFM FMF, nothing better if you have no Taboos holding you back.
  25. sydcplplay
    More than a month ago
    Definitely agree with Flashjewels when it comes to fmf and men's fantasy bucket list. In our 4 fmf experiences (3 occasions with the same 2 females, one fem always being my partner), the scenario is not planned, it unfolds naturally, this being for MOST part, the 2 females indulging uninhibitedly, whereupon during the course of events, timing calls for the male to interact (without complaints LOL), in providing play and penetration and additional orgasm for both, during which fmf interaction continues in several ways. Respectfully, this is not a case where, as you suggest, "mimics the Duracell/Energizer bunny", but simply a continuance of the variety enjoyed by all.
    Only speak for our experiences and appreciate not the case for those couples on here who seek straight fems only to join them.
    Very curious as to the percentage of straight fems on here seeking straight couples? Ok, enough, back to search section looking for bi fems seeking couples with bi fem :)
  26. Rockyman35
    More than a month ago
    hmmmm what ever defination threesome or threesum lol sounds like a hell of a fun night to me......
  27. tonymay
    More than a month ago
    well we have had a few 3somes over the years agree the main fantasy of males is to play with2 women preferably bi which we have done so fmf also we have had the other way as well mfm which wife enjoys a lot and we also me having bi tendencies enjoy a full on threesome with bi people only. we have also had the 4some ei another cpl where all are bi which is great as well no one is left out ;) so all u people out there wanting to do it just go for it with which ever combo u like. we know which ones we prefer but all are different which is just as well
  28. happy-boy
    More than a month ago
    I have had many 3somes with girls only FMF & as long as the girls are into each other with no inhibitions + no jealousy it's absolutely brilliant. The only problem is that usually jealousy kicks in, doesn't matter how considerate you are. At the end after having a very lively sex life all my life, personally I actually rather have a good quality night with one girl than couple of jealous girls trying to compete with each other.
  29. PlayfulPom3182
    More than a month ago
    Very insightful. Ihve been extremely lucky as all playmates and couples have been excellent communicators. The benefit is knowing the focus , not will he do that, will she do this angst. Thanks Chantelle for the affirmation
  30. skyef
    More than a month ago
    informitive well wriiten and we enjoyed reading it. and covered all groups well thank you
  31. trayway6977
    More than a month ago
    I just love 2, 3, 4, 5 or moresomes as long as its all consensual it doesnt matter , whether there are more males or females " More the Merrier "
    its always each to their own & acceptance of whatever all involved enjoys
  32. CN65779
    More than a month ago
    The best threesome would be me making love to 2 other women at the same time, Its not all about bam wham thank you mam, rather, please two women until they have multiple orgasims and do it for a couple of hours. In reality most QLD women are far too conservertives :(
  33. nortieatfortie
    More than a month ago
    a very informative article. i have never been in a threesome but having read this article perhaps i have been missing out on some real sexual fun
  34. crystallica
    More than a month ago
    Well I have offered my services for couples and when I inform them that I want it to be unidirectional, ie ME being primarily the adored object and recipient of pleasure they have NEVER followed through. It seems the boys want me to give them a show with their girl then do us both and that dynamic doesnt work at all for me..ho hum
  35. Rubyrocks
    More than a month ago
    We have had a few 3somes mfm, I find it great seeing my lady enjoying another guy and him enjoying her. It always finishes with us 2 guys tag teaming her which drives her crazy. All good fun anyway :)
  36. slivskyde
    More than a month ago
    i've tried all type of 3soms and they have all been different. The best thing is when you are with people who leave their worries about being labelled at home (mainly the guys) and you just go for what ever flows. One of the best experiences ive had has been when a totally str8 guy was involved in a MFM 3som and i ended up going down on him. He almost blew straight away! It didnt turn him, but it DID open him up for doing it again even 1on1! lol. You never know unless you try and i say, try it all! ;-) (playing safely of course!)
  37. hughesy57
    More than a month ago
    I enjoy mfm or mmm and then the fun one mfmfm. Three or more people who are into this type of fun usually have a very intimate evening and all leave very fullfilled and exahausted. Its all great fun
  38. yepamgame
    More than a month ago
    They are the best sex I reckon. We have MFM threesomes all the time with a hot couple from Kewarra Beach and the MM interaction isnt a worry and actually enhances the experience. I once said to C, the female of the couple, do you feel liked the worlds most desired woman and she said why is that and I replied at this point in time you are with two of us taking turns spoiling the hell out of her. Had a couple of FMF's but nowhere near as erotic as the MFM.
  39. lookn4funnfrend
    More than a month ago
    Well written and informative, both MFM and FMF are great in their own ways
  40. hotoutbackcoupl
    More than a month ago
    I do agree that MFM are the best threesome's as i love getting plesured by 2 blokes and do feel like the luckiest girl in the world when i get all the attention.And my partner loves arranging them as he loves pleasing me and get's a quick out of it when i'm worn out. ;)
  41. MasterE
    More than a month ago
    Thank you for the eye-opening article. I could imagine many people who try any number of guys and/or any number of girl permutations have the options of trying A, B and C all at the same encounter. It comes down to the individual if they're willing to have their bread buttered on both sides haha.
  42. 3sumsRus
    More than a month ago
    Whether it's unidirectional or multidirectional, agree that MFM with bi guys is the best. FMF can easily give rise to jealousy, so we stay away from it. When we are going to play, first we compile a shortlist based on what we can deduce from the profile; then he calls the prospects, which sorts the wood from the trees. Finally, she chooses one and we have a 3-way phone call and set up the meet. Works well for us.
  43. Travas2
    More than a month ago
    i love multidirectional ones myself eithe MFM, FFM and have enjoys a few MMM's as well
  44. boris8
    More than a month ago
    Ido believ that it depends ot the particpants, likes, I like fmf, but not to just to have 2 girls on me I think its a real threat seeing or watching a girl touching gracfully another girl and hope to learn some thing new from a girl herslef, I do realise that a girl myth like to be touched differently but they know more how to pleas one each other, and its nice to see the other being helped out to be be pempared and taken to certain high levil of enjoyment. very informay\tive subject.
  45. CityFun63
    More than a month ago
    Yep, multi-directional MFM tops my list.
  46. feelinu
    More than a month ago
    Interesting and heaps of debate maybe generated but I tend to agree with Flashjewels comments
  47. zonavar
    More than a month ago
    Have never had the opportunity to experience any type of more-than-one-other-person sexual intimacy but would very much like to. Yeah most guys seem to think a fantasy with two other women (maybe one who's a partner), or with a couple, is where it's at. Women probably tend to want involvement with other women in a couple and the guy is not really the main focus, but it all probably depends on one's previous experiences and how far 'outside the square' the potential participants want to go.
  48. funthreesome
    More than a month ago
    For me an MFM 3some is the best sex I have, perhaps the voyeur in me but love making a hot lady the centre of attention. Totally straight but don't mind a bit of contact during DP or when our cocks come together in her mouth. See a few of us single guy do genuinely enjoy a straight MFM threesome.
  49. adverture50
    More than a month ago
    Great article.. as we have just started a MMF encounter and Mrs is looking to explore her BI side. As for me having an extra guy is a great opportunity to not only explore my BI/curious side but to see the pleasure that it brings Mrs is just fantastic. Open sexual adventure.
  50. tattoorob
    More than a month ago
    tattoorob well our threesome didnt turn out the way i wanted the male took over her and for 4 hours he fucked her in every position even anally she didnt want me on the bed with them just wanted me to watch but she refused to have a girl that i could enjoy even though i let her fuck 4 other men she didnt want me to join in with them is she a selfish bitch or am i just a loving man who loves his wife or one day will she treat me to a female we both can enjoy neither of us are bi but i hope one day she will try and i no i would pleasure both of them not letting either of them miss out my fantazy she had hers and enjoyed herself
  51. suzie007
    More than a month ago
    yeah good points Chantelle, you've covered a lot! Many variations main point being, that all participants LIKE what they're doing, a regard for everyone, it happens when experience kicks in!
  52. softlysassy
    More than a month ago
    They all sound fun to me.
  53. michaelina
    More than a month ago
    Nice to have someoneelse's opinion, but still would love the FFM, not any other... Sorry
  54. 1st.ROSE
    More than a month ago
    I suppose I'm just greedy ..I love it ALL hmmmmm
  55. Dinks67
    More than a month ago
    Yes all sounds good to us. We are straight but not shy to get close to same sex if its a means to pleasuring the partner. We love couple on couple where we play together swapping partners and also playing with each other through the course of the evening. Sometimes sitting back and enjoy watching the other with another person. But then we also love mfm. Here I the male loves to take a step back and watch my wife enjoy the delights of another man and every so often join in where theres a gap sort of speak.
  56. satisfymeNOWmm
    More than a month ago
    Ok..Lets explore all three ways ;-)
  57. SweetHanna88
    More than a month ago
    I have had several MMF FFM... all great...and mostly with older men
  58. Comeplay2
    More than a month ago
    Multi bidirectional ROCKS !!!!!! :)
  59. happynsensual
    More than a month ago
    We have been doing multi-directional threesomes for a very long time and it doesn't matter to us whether it is MFM or FMF. They are amazing both of them for all of us. We do one about every fortnight when my hubby is home.
  60. Herbertgirl
    More than a month ago
    My wife and I have recently had our first MFM encounter and for the both of us turned out to be the best thing we've done for our sex life. It has given her an opportunity to have sex with other guys and to release her inner porn star without having any guilt as I'm always with her and for me to watch my wife in action has been nothing but an amazing turn on. I knew I wanted to see her with another guy but I had no idea how really beautiful she is and believe me it has been great for us as it has rekindled our love and our sex with each other to the point I haven thought of sex with any other woman except her. All I can say to anyone is make sure you and your partner are doing it for each other because if you are then you're both in for great times together.
  61. hotasianchic
    More than a month ago
    IM a M love 3some mfm what is better then to see your lovely partner cum again with some one else plus with your self, truly unselfish consideration for your partners pleasure is always well rewarded
  62. keepitreal19
    More than a month ago
    Ffm is awesome and Mfm is great when there's openess and passion
  63. petelics
    More than a month ago
    Just arrived home after a MFM,with me as the centre of some intensive action.Fantastic orgasms,but they certainly didn't miss out!! Love MFM's
  64. pauline1
    More than a month ago
    Never had MMF,but had a few FFM and do enjoy
  65. pauline1
    More than a month ago
    Do enjoy FFM very much as get to explore both parties and enjoy and have fun ,,also enjoy 4 somes with the right couple

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